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Friends,

Grief is exhausting. Today, I feel tired by grief, tired of grief, and tired of being tired of it all.  Loss may be inevitable, but it doesn’t get easier — no matter how unsurprising, or how many times things like this may have happened before; no matter how long you’ve been living the reality.  

The shootings in Atlanta on Tuesday have elevated the national conversation on the rise of anti-Asian sentiment. They’ve also caused a lot of grief, anger and fear, in the AAPI community and far beyond. 

Whether or not you feel personally affected by this tragedy, there is, unfortunately, a lot of loss to go around these days. We can’t make order out of all of the chaos, but we hope we can be of some assistance processing your feelings this week. 

One important takeaway from our beginner’s guide to grieving is that grief needs expression. Ignoring your feelings or bottling them up will only cause them to show up in different, insidious ways. Get your grief out in whatever way feels right to you: journaling, painting, exercise, therapy. 

Or, if focusing on yourself just feels hard right now, you can channel your energy outward with these resources:

If you have experienced or witnessed racism or hate crimes, or know someone who has, you can file an incident report with Stop AAPI Hate and Asian Americans Advancing Justice. Both organizations offer stories and resources in multiple languages. 

If you want to learn how to effectively intervene when witnessing incidents of hate in public spaces, you can sign up for (free!) bystander intervention training, as well as de-escalation training from Hollaback!, an organization centered on ending harassment in all forms. 

If you’re looking for a safe space to talk, or want to find one for a friend, Inclusive Therapists helps connect marginalized people with culturally responsive, identity affirming therapists. The Asian Mental Health Collective compiled this directory of Asian, Pacific Islander, and South Asian American therapists.

If you’re a parent or an educator, Time For Kids compiled this list of resources for talking with young people about anti-Asian racism. If you’re a teacher, here’s a curriculum for teaching about Asian American history in K-12 classrooms. 

And here is a hub for COVID-19 resources for the AAPI community, spanning several cities across the country. 

Take good care, friends — of yourselves and of each other. 

—Andee Tagle, Life Kit producer

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